Improvements

Good news!
My brain fog and headaches are lifting and I am able to function at a higher level again.  Thank-you Lord!!  I found it very frustrating to be more mentally incompetent than I usually am, so I am thankful for the relief of being out of the hazy daze of my severe brain fog.  I am also slowly regaining strength physically, although I am not nearly back to what I was before this downturn....

What has changed in this past week?
As we have been taught over and over these past few years, nothing has changed that we have controlled....God chooses to open and close doors in our lives in keeping with His good and perfect will, in His timing and not according to our agenda or as a result of our achievements or good decisions.

After letting me know that I am to blame for the complications in my treatment, my Lyme Doc has increased my antibiotic doses again so that some of them are doubled.  We have already seen some improvement in my white blood cell count so that is encouraging.  It seems that the Lyme and co-infections took the opportunity while my immune system was further down (due to an allergic reaction to one of my antibiotics) and caused the intensity of my symptoms to increase.

We are so thankful for this positive turn - we are aware that the process of treatment is up and down due to the complex nature of a multi-system disease, as well as the cycle of the Lyme spirochete and all of the classic bumps in the road that I seem to be hitting through this process.  It still took us by surprise though as I have mostly been doing well since treatment began in June.

I have very much struggled over these past weeks with receiving a taste of being 'returned to my body' only to have it taken away again and I have found it a very difficult part of this trial to accept.  It seems to be easier to have no hope sometimes than to have hope and have it feel like it is taken away.  That is why God reminds me once again to hope for eternal things rather than temporal.  I am so disappointed when I base my contentedness on what is happening in my personal circumstances here on earth and my faith and hope waver and falter depending on the events of the day.  Forgive me Lord, for my lack of trust.  By now I should know better.... 

"if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself." 2 Tim 2:13

I need to sleep now, so I will sign off but maybe now that I am mentally a little more capable I will be able to fill you in on a few other matters surrounding this Lyme battle soon....ps. Thank-you to my wonderful new Family Doc for being so willing to support me and for helping me out with samples of the wonderful drug called Lyrica - the only one so far that has helped with pain control enough to allow me to sleep some nights almost the entire night without interruptions!!! WHOO!!!

Goodnight.....